The Normalcy Trap

Normalcy is an illusion. “Being normal” is overrated, and is used to sell us a ton of useless crap. We all have a desire to be accepted for ourselves, and when we are not, we can unconsciously strive to fit in and can end up caught in the normalcy trap.  What if it was cool to be abnormal? We would all be authentic – unique.

Who sets the “normal bar”? Who gets to decide what is normal, and what is abnormal? Ultimately, we do. We are who decides our fate. But just about everyone on earth is offering their idea of what is acceptable and what is not, some people are pushier than others, but it seems that everyone has an idea of how we should act.

Normalcy is an invisible trap, and we ourselves entrap our own being inside it. Being normal is a nasty trap meant to entice us into conforming. Conformity allows those who govern us to do as they please . . . and we won’t speak up because we might look like a cracked nut if we do, or worse, a conspiracy theorist. Only a brave few are born with balls of steel, able to navigate abnormality, even thrive within it.

We allow others to dole out their idea of what is normal and abnormal, and then we conform and contort our being into those molds. Instead of being unique – one of a kind – and authentic, we fold in on ourselves and begin to cover ourselves with layers of normalcy – other people’s ideas of us – burying our true selves under piles of rubbish.

Our parents condition us at a young age to fit in, and to get along, and that can be very useful and a great thing, in that we live together in small spaces, as well as must come together to govern ourselves, and we must get along in our families, neighborhoods and communities.

But when we forfeit our very life’s purpose by conforming in ways that work against us, or at very least do not allow our brilliance to shine, then we are harming ourselves, and also those we expect to conform for our benefit.

Why do we need others to act a certain way so that we can be okay? What is missing in us that we feel the need to shackle others with our ideas – our mold of acceptability. Are we all control freaks, or are we taught to be that way.

What if parents allowed their kids to become whatever they wanted to become: a clown, a doctor, an artist. What if the parents were only there to watch over their child and keep them safe from harm, and not to mold them into the image and likeness of their broken dreams and unfulfilled wishes?

Kids would be free to explore their world, instead of spending 90% of their energy conforming to standards of normalcy. Parents do the best they can, and most want more for their kids than they themselves had, but are their high expectations screwing up their kids?

Children do need structure, and guidance, but where does that parental responsibility end? Where does the child’s needs and wants come into play?

If we are all on earth to serve our special purpose, then shouldn’t our parents allow us to discover what that purpose is? Why do we have so many unhappy people on earth living lives they don’t like and don’t prefer?

So many of us are working jobs we hate – or at least don’t like – and we are not fulfilling our purpose, yet we spend 40 + hours a week doing it. The job we settled for may not even pay enough to cover our expenses, and that creates more unhappiness.

We marry people we aren’t in love with because we are told we should get married and have children. When I was in my 20’s and 30’s I heard “Why aren’t you married?” a thousand times. And my answer was “Because I’m not divorced”, which meant I hadn’t found anyone who I didn’t look for the backdoor when considering marrying.

Why don’t we wait for that special soul connection before we leap off the bridge of forever? I watch as young people decide it is “time” to get married, and then they look around to see who is the best candidate. Who is the best looking, makes the most money, who will take the best care of them.

Why do we have to get married and have children at all? Why must I pop a watermelon sized human out of my loins to be happy, to be normal, to be accepted?

We live in an era – for the first time in memorable history – where women do not have to conform to getting married and becoming a baby factory. We can choose a career, or to travel, or to lay around on the couch and eat bon-bon’s if we like.

If being unique was in style then our world would look very different. There would be less unhappy people doing what they don’t enjoy. More humans would live on-point, and their genius would be revealed in amazing ways and put to good use by all.

Being “normal” doesn’t even exist, since there is no set standard for what normal is, and we all use the word to either insult, as in “You are not normal”, or to make others conform to our way of thinking.

Some humans – a very few – come into this world with their genius and purpose realized. Mozart, for example, wrote his first symphony by age 8. But 99% of us need to explore ourselves and our world before we receive our first clue as to what our purpose is. At age 8 I was fully engrossed in my plethora of Barbie’s, and I was uninterested in anything that distracted me from what Barbie and Ken were doing in their swimming pool.

I didn’t receive any clues about my purpose until I was in my forties. I am still figuring out what my genius is. But I know one thing: we all have genius in some form.

Normalcy is a method of control and manipulation. Once the perimeters of what is normal are set, and what is outside of that are understood as “bad” or undesirable, they’ve got us! We can then be led around by the invisible ring in our nose, as sure as a cow is led around by the ring in their nose.

We have created a world of political and moral correctness: a standard of normalcy. The truth has taken a backseat, and is constantly being thrown out of the vehicle altogether. Truth doesn’t matter as long as people like us. We can then be easily controlled – no cage or actual chains needed. With a simple reminder of what lines not to cross, and the laughable term “correctness”, they can put any word before it and we quickly understand how we are expected to behave.

After the world – and our parents – screw us up, it can take a lifetime to undo the damage that striving to “be normal” does to us. Countless hours spent in the psychologists office, or in the self-help isle at the bookstore, all for what? Because as children we didn’t understand the world around us and its crushing conformity.

As we tried to break free and be who we came to be, we were reeled back in to the normalcy trap. We were rewarded for conforming, and given good grades for doing so.

Schools are less about uncovering our brilliance and purpose, and more about churning out minions by age 18. We are told that it is in our best interest to go with the flow, so that we can get a good job, and be liked. But what about going with our own flow? The unique flow our Creator implanted in each of us.

We all have our own unique flow, and when we find our perfect flow, life works out magically. Everything falls into place. We fit into our own skin and live free and unfettered, instead of constantly trying to crawl out of ourselves to live as someone else. A clone of a fictitious character. A façade – a lie.

Many of us are figuring out that if we do what we love – after we discover what that is – we can make our living doing it, and never again have to work doing what we dislike.

I wish abnormality on you, on me, on all of earths humans. That we could live free from tyranny and chains, and be accepted for our authentic selves. One day soon, allowing our genius to shine will take over and crush the normalcy trap flat, and when we look back to this time in history, we will be amazed at how easily we were enslaved for other people’s agenda and ideas, all for the silly idea of striving for normalcy.

Humanity is awakening to their birthright of love, compassion and genius, and their purpose is tied to the unwinding and discarding of what we deemed normal.

To live free and truly happy, we must unchain ourselves and join in the movement of living boldly, and exploring ourselves and our world in ways we are only now becoming aware of.

What lights your fire? What sets your dreams ablaze with passion? That is the first step to discovering your purpose, and breaking the chains of normalcy that bind us all.

Meditate or pray to have your next step lit for you, and then vow to have the courage to take that step in faith, knowing that it is leading you to your genius. Our world needs your special brand of genius. You matter!

Free yourself from the normalcy trap: take the steps today to do what you love – not necessarily for money, that will come in time – and begin the journey back to your TRUE self. It is possible to realize your brilliance and gift your unique genius to your world, and by example light a trail of passion and authenticity where ever you go.

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